CHRISTMAS Q&A:
JULIA SIERADZKI (THE FIRM)
1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

First of all, I’ll be off work & still get paid, that’s a pleasant thought. I approve of the food & drink, cos my mum’s a vegetarian and she buys nice wine. I also like to see people’s faces when they’re given a ridiculous present but they act really delighted just to be polite!

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

Thinking about how many turkeys die at Xmas, just to be eaten. Rather vulgar…Also the fact that Christmas is a money-making institution. Don’t you think it’s really cruel to make kids believe that Santa exists just so they can find out one day that their granddad looks rather camp in a red costume?

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

If we’re completely honest here and put the joke aside I find Christmas songs cringeworthy. Britney’s Xmas song’s alright though.

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?

I can’t think of a dreadful present I’ve been given but an occasion springs to mind where I bought a present for someone but just before Xmas decided to keep it for myself. I never said I wasn’t selfish or anything, did I?

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

Probably not a lot cos you celebrate Xmas on Xmas eve in Germany

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
ALEX AVERY (THE FIRM)

1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

Sean Connery’s hairy chest.

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

Drinking my brother’s piss. It’s a family tradition but one I don’t like to dwell on.

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

My favourite would have to be ‘Mysterious Girl’ by Peter Andre, it’s a classic. The worst would have to be, well, who was that guy with the beard?

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?Once I was given a mirror by

Father Christmas in his grotto in Asda. What an insult.

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

Sneaking out the back door for a fag praying for boxing day.

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
SEB (UNTITLED 1961)

1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

I used to like presents, but now I like Christmas Dinner, Boxing Day lunch and presents. And Santa Claus the Movie with Dudley Moore. Classic.

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?I don't like the fact it's now just another money making exercise. However, if you look past that, you can still find good things like people getting together, appreciating each other.

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

This is a very hard question! But I'm gonna go with my first thoughts: Favourite - I wish it could be Christmas every day by Wizzard, it's impossible to resist singing along to that. And worst...anything by Cliff Richard. Maybe just Cliff himself.

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?

About 4 years ago I think my Mum had some kind of crisis where she wished I'd been a girl, and got me all these lavender things, and a hot water bottle Teddy Bear, which I err, never, ever use, obviously...

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

I'll either be a) Jumping around like a nutter drinking beer (in my parents living room)b) Crying in a corner hugging a bottle of Port wearing a Santa Hat with flashing lightsc) Being sick from eating too many sprouts

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
ROB (THE DROWNERS)

1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

I like the fact that I can be extremely drunk and no one will look down on me for it. I like the weather, there’s something about winter that I find very attractive.I like Mulled wine, (why can you only get this at Christmas?)Time off work is always nice.I’m kind of at a loss after that.

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

I hate the fact that Christmas is an unholy marriage between two of the greatest evils in society: Capitalism and Christianity. I hate the fact that the one time of year that everything is closed is the one time of year where there’s fuck all on TV so you have no choice but to sit comatose being brainwashed by an inane talking reindeer.Fucking Christmas adverts.

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

My favourite is “Last Christmas” by George Michael, although I prefer James Dean Bradfield’s version.My worst would have to be all of the others, except maybe Fairytale of New York.

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?

Chlamydia.

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

Hopefully I’ll be in an alcohol induced coma that will last until Boxing Day when I can go back to my flat and resume normal life.

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
ROB (RMF NOIR)

1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

watching my family go bugfuck

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

watching my family go bugfuck

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

all holiday music is so dire. but when i was little my dad used to play 'tubular bells' every xmas morning. not really sure why. so let's just go with that for favorite. or "feeling hard" by B234EVA.

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?

somebody's shitty demo cd. "merry christmas, listen to my band". fuck you.

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

ketamine, probably!

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
MONDAY CLUB


1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

Amy: That I can always count on that satsuma in the heel/toe area of the stocking. Every year. There's something wholly stabilizing about it.
Jess: Fairy lights. The rest of winter is so dark and bleak, I like the sparkling things in the street at Christmastime. And Christmas movies, I’m a sucker for them. In fact, if I’m honest, I’m a sucker for all things Christmassy, except the day itself.
Astrud: When people completely cover their houses in big plastic decorations. I’m going to buy a gift for our house of a 5 foot santa that plays music and dances. I think everyone will appreciate it. You can get them from Argos- I’m going tomorrow.

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

Amy: When it's raining!
Astrud: that sense of enforced domestic stagnation- coincides with having to watch programmes like strictly come dancing- harsh.

3. What are your favourite & worst Christmas songs?

Jess: Worst has got to be Slade. I like the David Bowie and Bing Crosby Little Drummer Boy because they look so uncomfortable in the video.
Astrud: Some carols are really good- the one’s with exultant three part harmonies and round are obviously amazing.
Amy: My favourite goes 'Little donkey, little donkey, carry Mary home..' But the reason I love it so much is 'cause I sing a choir-voice version to our cat with the words 'Little Roxy, little Roxy, carry Amy home..' I always get this rediculous image in my head when singing it, of this little black cat quite capably carrying me home on her back!..

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've ever been given?

Jess: My aunt has a knack for getting me really weird presents, but the worst must have been the year she got me a frog purse, made from a real frog. It was basically a dead, dried out frog whose bum and back legs had been cut off and a zip stitched in their place. She didn’t even buy it as a joke, and couldn’t understand why I found it so disturbing, or why she found it abandoned on her driveway on Boxing Day. Oh, I was a vegetarian at the time too.
Astrud: Sorry, I can’t beat that one. That is the worst present anyone I know has ever got.

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

Jess: Simultaneously feeling sick and shovelling more food in my mouth.
Astrud: sitting in my room playing guitar/ listening to a cd I’ve just been given when I should be politely talking to relatives- juvenile but true. If I had got the frog purse I would just be feeling sick.

CHRISTMAS Q&A:
DAVID (DOE FACE LILLIAN)

1. What do you actually like about Christmas?

I like doing completely nothing for a a week or two just sleeping alot and basically making no effort at all ! i mean i do that alot anyway but at christmas i get force fed alcohol by my parents which is unsual but good as it means i can revert to unconsciousness much quicker!

2. What do you utterly despise about Christmas?

The judgement of gifts and the fineline between pleasing someone else or annoying them a bit like sex without the guarentee of my own gratification! Oh and that it's a religious festival and religion is all bullshit!

3. What are your favourite and worst Christmas songs?

my favourite christmas song is defo "i want an Alien for Christmas" by Fountains of WayneMisteltoe and ChildRape by Cliff"I had an enema and loved it!" Richards that smug self righteous cunt needs a serious beating outside and in!

4. What is the most dreadful gift you've been given at Christmas?

i never actually recieved(!) it but a girlfriend who quickly became an ex girlfriend did inform over the phone she had bought a strap on for me!

5. What will you be doing at, say, 6pm on Christmas day?

skinning up a mega doobie and playing some form of computerised mayham either solo or with my brother (or even rob)